Stuff I’ve learned and want to pass on –
The lesson to be learned from flea markets is that if you never throw out your garbage eventually it stops being trash and becomes a collection.
If you’re able to write your insane drug induced ramblings down on paper, a lot of the time you can pass them off as free-verse poetry.
I kept losing my contact lenses. They’re pretty expensive too. So I thought it would be easier to keep track of them if I superglued them to my eyeballs. It seemed like a good idea, but …well to make a long story short: DON’T.
I just heard back from the Hasbro and learned that my project just won’t work. No matter how hard you try you just can’t use a lite-brite to download porn off the internet. Well, it was worth a shot anyway I guess.
Don’t buy life insurance. I think it’s a good idea to try to limit the number of people who would prosper by your death as much as you possibly can.
I always believed in giving the customer more than they expect. That’s probably why they kicked me out medical school.
A lot of people know that each of us has their own guardian angel. What they don’t know is that they also have their own demon. Mine looks a lot like Larry King.
If you see only one movie this year, HBO’s Star package is probably a waste of money.
They say that your personality stops changing by the age of five. So if you were a shy kid at five you’ll be shy the rest of your life. From that age your personality never changes. In my case, I’ve found, the same is true of table manners.
(thing I drew)
