The Sedated Ape

Bad news – I have hemorrhoids.

Good news -  That  means that I’m NOT going to be the first man in history who started menstruating. That’s a relief because If I was the first  they would probably name the condition after me. That would’ve been embarrassing.

Of course having hemorrhoids is pretty embarrassing too.   So,  I thought that instead of going to a doctor I’d just put a picture of  the hemorrhoids here in case anyone reading this might happen to know enough about that kinda thing  to suggest a treatment

http://tonymyers.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/click1.jpg

I took a sociology class in college.

My first term paper was about whether all southerners are really stupid, or if it’s just their accent that makes them all seem really stupid.

So I took a little road trip down to Mississippi to do a little research. I went door to door asking everybody if they were stupid or just sounded stupid.

The results were inconclusive, but it did give me a good idea for my next paper. I called it, “Why southerners are so hostile towards sociologists”.

The San Diego “Infamous” Chicken has sold out his own heritage.

I guess times are tough for him -  He claims in his bio that he once worked with Elvis, and he’s working AA baseball games now. That has to be a let down.

The working with Elvis thing must have been a  pretty odd booking decision.  If you were booking  a Elvis Presley  concert most people would just assume that Elvis  would be a big enough draw on his own. You  probably didn’t really  need to pay  a guy in a chicken suit too.

  Quote from the Chicken’s web page: ” I was  sued in 1979 to bar me from ever working again in any chicken suit”.   I can empathize -  that happened to me too. I never actually tried to work in a chicken suit before , but the state thought that it was better safe than sorry.

The chicken has three guys who follow him around from town to town selling dolls and pictures at the ballgames.  A guy in a chicken suit actually has an entourage…. I’ve had some pretty embarrassing jobs over the years, but nothing that bad. I feel horrible for those three guys.  If you’re a member of The San Diego Chicken’s posse you can pretty much write off any hopes of ever getting laid.

I’m a Burger King outlaw.

By the way – they sell burgers that have mashed potatoes on them now .  If you haven’t had one yet, get off your ass.