I’m not going to ever go back to college. At least not until the nightmares stop . But if I was going back I think this time I would go to a Bible college.
I’m not very religious. If there is a God, I think he owes us all a big apology for ignoring us all these centuries. (I feel the same way about Bigfoot, but that’s another story.)
The reason I’d want to go to Bible college is that as far as I can tell they’re the only college that expects you to read just one book. It’s a pretty big book, granted, but it’s less than half the size of “The Norton Anthology Of British Literature”.
Plus for about twenty books you can get the whole thing on CDs read by James Earl Jones! How many other types of schools are there out there where you can get your textbook read to you by Darth Vader? Good luck getting him to read Canterbury Tales or some crap like that to you. ( You can find an audio book version of Canterbury Tales read to you by Chewbacca, but it’s done in Old English and that makes it a lot harder to understand. Old English sounds more like growls, whimpers and roars than actual speech to me.)
Besides that, the school would be pretty easy. Nine times out of ten the answer to any question is going to be “Jesus” . As long as you can remember his name you’re a cinch for the honor roll.
It’s probably harder to get laid at Bible College parties but I didn’t have much luck with that in any of the normal colleges either . So, on balance, that’s a small price to pay.