”You’re not black! You’re even paler than I am. Stop telling people you’re part black, especially don’t tell that to people who really are black. Because they’ll think you’re making fun of them, that’s why. You just want to relate to the black experience and …. Fine, which of your relatives were black? You know why you don’t know? Because THEY WERE ALL WHITE TOO. I’ve met both your parents and I’ve seem pictures of your grandparents. They were as white as you are! If anything they looked like Jews. Yes, I know Jews can be black too, but they don’t. Because it’s hard enough being black without adding “Jew” to the mix. How am I being racist? I never said you were Jewish, but you’re a lot closer to being Jewish than black. Oh God. Are you crying because you’re not black? How is it my fault? I can’t make you black. You can’t just pick whatever race you want. And if you could pick, why not choose to be white? We have it the easiest. We’re in charge of everything. I’m not saying we SHOULD be, we just are. It’s a double standard, but we’re on the winning side. Enjoy it. Would you at least please not say that you think you’re black in front of people I know? Especially my parents. No, I’m not worried that they’ll be racist about it. I’m worried they’ll think you’re an idiot. So, now you’re crying about that too, huh. Fine. Fine. I’m an asshole because you’re white. I guess that’s my fault too.”
